From 1995: "The Internet? Bah!"

Don't really know who Clifford Stoll is, nor do I have the intellectual curiosity to really care.  But I know a complete whiff when I see one.  And Mr. Stoll whiffed on this whole internet thing, big time.

After two decades online, I'm perplexed. It's not that I haven't had a gas of a good time on the Internet. I've met great people and even caught a hacker or two. But today, I'm uneasy about this most trendy and oversold community. Visionaries see a future of telecommuting workers, interactive libraries and multimedia classrooms. They speak of electronic town meetings and virtual communities. Commerce and business will shift from offices and malls to networks and modems. And the freedom of digital networks will make government more democratic.

Baloney. Do our computer pundits lack all common sense? The truth in no online database will replace your daily newspaper, no CD-ROM can take the place of a competent teacher and no computer network will change the way government works.

Well played, sir.  Oh, he goes on:

Then there's cyberbusiness. We're promised instant catalog shopping--just point and click for great deals. We'll order airline tickets over the network, make restaurant reservations and negotiate sales contracts. Stores will become obselete. So how come my local mall does more business in an afternoon than the entire Internet handles in a month? Even if there were a trustworthy way to send money over the Internet--which there isn't--the network is missing a most essential ingredient of capitalism: salespeople.

I'm no sociologist, but I know that if you're ready my bullshit blog, chances are pretty good think what I think:  salespeople only ruin the shopping experience.

I like my consumerism completely absent of any human interaction, thank you very much.  It's why the Domino's Pizza Tracker is the greatest innovation of the 21st century.