Yesterday's Health Care Summit: Condensed.

For those that didn't have six hours in the middle of the day available to watch politicians talk about health care, here's the nutshell.

(Note from EA:  I may be paraphrasing a little bit.)

Obama:  Thank y'all for coming today. Let's do this.

Random GOPer: Buy Across State Lines.

Obama:  We'll look into it.

Random Dem: We're so close. Please let us do this.

Random GOPer:  Tort Reform.

Random Dem:  Pretty Please???

Random GOPer:  CBO says premiums go up.

Obama:  No, they don't.

Random GOPer:  Uh-huh.

Obama:  No, they don't.

Random GOPer:  Buy Across State Lines.

Obama:  Again with that.  I said we'll look into it.

Random Dem:  With sugar on top?  We're SO CLOSE!

Random GOPer:  CBO says premiums go up.

Obama:  No, they don't.

Random GOPer:  (clears throat) Do over.

Obama:  What?

Random GOPer:  Do over.

Obama:  No do overs.

Random GOPer:  Do over.

Random Dem:  Sniffle.

Obama:  Stop crying.

Random GOPer:  (cough) Tort reform.

Obama:  Did you say something?

Random GOPer:  State Lines.

Obama:  Look.  We've got a lot to discuss here without rehashing talking points that both sides have been spitting out since I took office.  Can we stay on topic?

Random GOPer:  Democrats have talked for four hours.  Republicans have talked for three minutes.

Obama:  You're timing this shit?  And... those numbers don't sound right.

Random GOPer:  (clears throat) Tort...

Obama:  (blank stare)

Random GOPer:  ... reform.

Random Dem:  OMG, nobody's listening to me.  FML.

Obama:  Okay.  I think we're done here.  Thanks for showing up.  Jerks.

Random GOPer:   (cough) You set us up. (cough)

Obama:  What?

Random GOPer:  Undercover patient.

Obama:  Okay.

Random Dem:  Sniffle.

Obama:  Stop crying.